Plan I.N.F.R.A.R.E.D.


Everyone knows that most kids spend a vast portion of there at school; for most people this is fairly useful, parents only have to spend part of there day watching and dealing with their kids, teachers get a job, and retail employees only have to spend a couple of hours dealing with teenagers. There is one group of people that enjoy schools substantially more than everyone else, and these are pedophiles. These pedophiles simply love the fact that at any time during lunch or passing period they can slowly drive past a school staring at children. This slow pass by is not only adored by pedophiles but required by law with the most school zones setting the speed limit at less than 20 miles per hour (32.19 kilometers per hour).

To solve this I have put together the I.N.F.R.A.R.E.D. plan. This plan is an acronym that stands for "Innovative Nonce neutRalizing exeRcising A Rational spEed limit and Doppler shifting." Doppler shifting is a property of waves found by Christian Doppler, which causes the frequency of a wave to shift based on the speed an observer is moving relative to the source of the waves. Since all human vision is based on waves of light hitting ones' cornea with the color of visible light from 380 nm (purple) to 740 nm (red) it is possible to use Doppler Shifting to recolor objects or shift them into the ultraviolet spectrum which starts at less than 400 nm. Assuming the average students’ skin tone is around beige with a wavelength of 600 nm the frequency of the light would be 4.99x10^20 Hz. To shift them safely into the ultraviolet spectrum we want them to have a wavelength of around 380 nm which correlates to a frequency of 7.88x10^20 Hz. Plugging this into the Doppler Shift equation shows that the driver would have to be traveling at a leisurely 173,564,054 m/s meters per second.

By Hampton Moore